recently
i've finished with work for the week! recently, i started talking to my coworkers more and having small conversations with them. i feel like i'm finally fitting in :'3, my shift on monday wasn't that great but tuesday and wednesday were good! i have the same coworker in mostly all of my shifts and she's my age, along with another one who i worked in the kitchen with for awhile !!!! ^_^ one of them showed me how the speaker worked (i work in fast food, for those who are wondering) since i'm going to start working foh soon .... i get my paycheck this weekend, too, so i can buy my new phone! after this paycheck i am going to start slowly buying stuff for my room since i rearranged it and it's kinda empty... i need to buy a new laptop and ipad as well but it's going to have to wait until i have most of my stuff and for me to pay my mom back, whichhhhhhhhhhhhhh is going to take awhile.
economy
summer is lowkey boring. i miss my friends. i have them, and a friendgroup, however they never bother to talk in our gc :facepalm: or when i talk i get ignored ..??? but i have other people i enjoy and i miss classes and schoolwork already uee.... summers in texas are extremely hot (we have a heat warning right now actually), last summer we had 100f+ for weeks and IT WAS MISERABLE!!!!!!!!! hot hot weather.... i wish i lived more up north or west so it wasn't as hot.. i have a new shift manager today that i havent seen since i first worked there and i am nervy.. i work back to back until thursday and then i'm off! i have a crawfish boil i attend this weekend with family and i am so fucking excited....... i hope you enjoy seafood as well anon (lolol)
brainrot
it's so hard to take my feelings or myself seriously. i am still not over this guy i have liked since forever. embarrassingly enough, he was my first crush and genuine close bond with irl for years. we were close. we liked similar things and thats how we clicked. the issue is that we are both extremely unmedicated and undiagnosed and it fucked with us. i have liked him for a full year now, and we haven't talked in feburary. it is truly shameful of me. i am not fond of this generations "situationships", "talking stages", or general dating culture. there are cons and pros but so many cons it sucks. i don't even know why i'm talking about dating culture on a rant/heartdump when i'm in the topic of "him", because i have had a feeling deep down we are or "were" never going to be more than best friends. i was too anxious to do anything. we joked about kissing, and we flirted occassionaly, and in those moments it felt just right. but now it doesn't. it doesn't feel right at all. knowing he is less than a text away is nauseating. it eats away at my heart because it feels like he's all i have ever known and it was a dumb thing. we are both young and we have a lot to experience, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to contact him. i love him more than anyone else and the love is so strong it aches in my bones and plagues my thoughts. i just imagine spending time with him and going on the aquarium "date" we talked about. my friends hate him but i love him, it's so corny. i hope things will get better than the both of us. weither that be us never talking again, or us reconciling and becoming friends once more, i hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel. even if it hurts
the era of this website + life
holy!! i am so excited to kickstart this site into a new era! i turned 16 2 months ago, so i decided it was time to journal my ascend into adulthood, i guess. it's scary. i started my job earlier this month (around 2 weeks ago as i am writing this) and it feels odd? i feel the impending doom of having to go into job after job my entire life. when i started my job, and got the interview, it dawned on me that there was no going back. my childhood is officially gone and now i have new responsibilites. i don't know how to feel whatsoever, and it feels kindy sucky? there is of course an up side to this, but down sides too. T_T
i've finished with work for the week! recently, i started talking to my coworkers more and having small conversations with them. i feel like i'm finally fitting in :'3, my shift on monday wasn't that great but tuesday and wednesday were good! i have the same coworker in mostly all of my shifts and she's my age, along with another one who i worked in the kitchen with for awhile !!!! ^_^ one of them showed me how the speaker worked (i work in fast food, for those who are wondering) since i'm going to start working foh soon .... i get my paycheck this weekend, too, so i can buy my new phone! after this paycheck i am going to start slowly buying stuff for my room since i rearranged it and it's kinda empty... i need to buy a new laptop and ipad as well but it's going to have to wait until i have most of my stuff and for me to pay my mom back, whichhhhhhhhhhhhhh is going to take awhile.
economy
summer is lowkey boring. i miss my friends. i have them, and a friendgroup, however they never bother to talk in our gc :facepalm: or when i talk i get ignored ..??? but i have other people i enjoy and i miss classes and schoolwork already uee.... summers in texas are extremely hot (we have a heat warning right now actually), last summer we had 100f+ for weeks and IT WAS MISERABLE!!!!!!!!! hot hot weather.... i wish i lived more up north or west so it wasn't as hot.. i have a new shift manager today that i havent seen since i first worked there and i am nervy.. i work back to back until thursday and then i'm off! i have a crawfish boil i attend this weekend with family and i am so fucking excited....... i hope you enjoy seafood as well anon (lolol)
brainrot
it's so hard to take my feelings or myself seriously. i am still not over this guy i have liked since forever. embarrassingly enough, he was my first crush and genuine close bond with irl for years. we were close. we liked similar things and thats how we clicked. the issue is that we are both extremely unmedicated and undiagnosed and it fucked with us. i have liked him for a full year now, and we haven't talked in feburary. it is truly shameful of me. i am not fond of this generations "situationships", "talking stages", or general dating culture. there are cons and pros but so many cons it sucks. i don't even know why i'm talking about dating culture on a rant/heartdump when i'm in the topic of "him", because i have had a feeling deep down we are or "were" never going to be more than best friends. i was too anxious to do anything. we joked about kissing, and we flirted occassionaly, and in those moments it felt just right. but now it doesn't. it doesn't feel right at all. knowing he is less than a text away is nauseating. it eats away at my heart because it feels like he's all i have ever known and it was a dumb thing. we are both young and we have a lot to experience, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to contact him. i love him more than anyone else and the love is so strong it aches in my bones and plagues my thoughts. i just imagine spending time with him and going on the aquarium "date" we talked about. my friends hate him but i love him, it's so corny. i hope things will get better than the both of us. weither that be us never talking again, or us reconciling and becoming friends once more, i hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel. even if it hurts
the era of this website + life
holy!! i am so excited to kickstart this site into a new era! i turned 16 2 months ago, so i decided it was time to journal my ascend into adulthood, i guess. it's scary. i started my job earlier this month (around 2 weeks ago as i am writing this) and it feels odd? i feel the impending doom of having to go into job after job my entire life. when i started my job, and got the interview, it dawned on me that there was no going back. my childhood is officially gone and now i have new responsibilites. i don't know how to feel whatsoever, and it feels kindy sucky? there is of course an up side to this, but down sides too. T_T